Kingshit

This will not be the post for the meek, squeamish or easily offended. I will try to be as tasteful as possible. But I must confess that I am known in some circles for my intestinal fortitude and I mean that quite literally in this circumstance.

My effluence is so prodigious that I have destroyed several small plumbing systems and more than one industrial sized outflow. I took down the Palm Springs Convention Center's restroom facility not once but twice in my lifetime. There is a small hotel in Santa Fe called the King's Rest that still might have my wanted poster behind the front desk for the havoc I inflicted on its small but woefully inadequate sewer system.

While most aspects of my being are really rather quite normal and ordinary, my colon is obviously somewhat superhuman, and that is all I will say on that subject.

Anyway, I was talking to my friend Peter the other day. He is going up to see the Eagles on his birthday. Peter was a major rock photographer and mentioned to me that he was the only other person at the board when the legendary band cut its Greatest Hits album. He has fond memories of the occasion, obviously and well deservedly.

I mentioned to him my one near brush with fame.

Leslie had a school chum named Mitch N. who was Eric Clapton's longtime videographer. We were big fans of Cream, went back to the Madison Square Garden reunion in 2005. Anyway, not long after that, Clapton came to town and played a show at the Sports Arena with J.J. Cale, Robert Cray, Derek Trucks, Doyle Bramhall and I forget who else.

We were gifted first row center tickets to the show, which was fabulous, backstage passes and tour bus privileges and passes. That is a real big deal to a country bumpkin like me.

The show was incredible, Robert Cray stood out as the best to me but Clapton was superb.

Everything was fine afterwards. We filed onto the tour bus, very excited, but smiling and pleasant. They let everybody go through but stopped for some reason when they got to me. Man looked down at his clipboard.

"You are not allowed to use the bus bathroom, man. Orders."

I looked around, sort of bewildered. Damn. So Clapton knows too...