Sacre Bleu!

How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? – Charles de Gaulle

I read today that Joe Biden is feting the French premier Macron with a cheese board at the upcoming state dinner. Is he nuts? Are you ready for the the patronizing condescension coming our way? You know how the French are about their cheese. I predict this is going to be an absolute disaster. I can hear the superior sniffing already from across the pond.

Purportedly the dinner will feature a goat cheese from California, a Wisconsin cheddar and a Rogue River blue cheese from Oregon that won the World Cheese championship in 2019. Wait, no velveeta? 

The entrees will be butter-poached Maine lobster, American Ostera Caviar, beef with shallot marmalade and squash from the White House garden. Tres' bon.

I think American cheese is pretty good but my favorite cheese is from France, Cantal, and you can't buy it here because it isn't cooked or pasteurized. Did find it in Seattle once, not sure how they got away with it? Honestly, French cheese is light years ahead.

This is like inviting Larry Bird over and challenging him to a game of horse. We are playing their game here. Trying to teach Mosconi how to shoot pool. As good as our cheese is, I think we are way out of our league. Why not try a barbecue or beenie weenie, something we are really good at? Hoagies.

I am sure they will be smiling and complimentary, but I predict the behind the scenes sniping will be surgical and deadly. You don't invite Julia Child over for a frozen Sarah Lee cheesecake.

Photo - A.P. - Andrew Harnik

For dessert, the international group will indulge in orange chiffon cake, roasted pears and crème fraiche ice cream.  Sounds okay, not particularly daring.

Three California wines — a chardonnay, a cabernet sauvignon and a sparkling brut rose — round out the drink list. 

Brut Rose? Really? Were we all out of white zinfandel? Hope they got a good cab, a Silver Oak, Caymus or Opus, then all will be forgiven. They may not like it but what do the Frenchies know?

Should be interesting.