How to Alienate One's Neighbor.......
IT SNOWED LAST NIGHTWe received about 2 inches of snow yesterday and8:00 am: I made a snowman.8:10-A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.8:22 - The transgender man.. women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not used to decorate snow figures.8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.8:37 - Then accused of using a black face on the snowperson.8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.8:45 - The TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now a sexist.9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman...Moral: There ain't no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.
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My right wing friends seem to be really triggered by electric vehicles. Lots of stuff on them comes my way. Weirdly enough, they don't bother me a bit.
2 comments:
Luberall: winner of the year for political jokes.
good post
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