Sands of time

You get older, the memory slips a bit, it's a fact of life. And soon the jokes start. Here is the first one I remember from the recent cycle:

Woman walks into the kitchen and says, if I ever get Alzheimers, I want you to shoot me. Husband says, funny, that's the third time you've told me that this morning.

Don Perry sent this one over:

This pretty well sums up life - a full circle! 

At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.   

    At age 12 success is having friends.   

   At age 16 success is having a drivers license.     

  
At age 20 success is having sex.     

   At age 35 success is having money.     

        At age 60 success is having money   
.       

At age 70 success is having sex.     

    At age 80 success is having a drivers license.   

      At age 85 success is having friends.   

     
         At age 90 success is not peeing in your pants.   

It all comes full circle, whether you like it or not.

And, as with memory, hearing is bound to suffer as we age. 

From Bob DeGoff:

On the morning that Daylight Saving Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - you're supposed to turn your clock back!

I sent the last one out as an email, come to think of it, I sent them all out. I got some interesting responses but none better than this one from Phoenix's David Adler:

I lost my phone two days ago. Ninety minutes later, as I was preparing to get in the car to go buy a new phone, Lisa found it. In the cheese drawer of the refrigerator. 

This cracked me up. I told Friedman about it He said honest to god, just the day before he had lost his ginger ale and it turned out to be in his closet.

Not exactly on topic but James O sent me this one over :

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."  "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yell "Get your dogs here" and they both walk towards the hot dog cart."Two dogs, please! ," says one.  The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs'.The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other Nun and whispers cautiously. "What part did you get?"

It's admittedly a solemn and grave time in our world. But we must not forget that a mere thirty years ago David Hasselhoff brought down the Berlin Wall.

I have a short opus to share but I think this will have to do for a spell. Keep smiling.