Going Andy Rooney on the phone company

I have been having recurring problems with my pacbell.net email address. After two years of going through various levels of yahoo and ATT support, I have tried to shift and synch everything to gmail. Unfortunately things get lost in the email abyss and I don't always get my messages. I think its something inherent with the old suffix, doesn't jibe with the new ATT.

I had heard that ATT was upgrading its mail service and thought that it was probably time to make my annual call. They wanted to know why I was still on DSL, since there was U-Verse int he neighborhood which promised four times the speed?

It turns out that somebody had made an application from my address but they really meant south main and do there had been a false pending order in the system for the last two years. After a bit of concerted wrangling, I got that fixed and scheduled an appointment with the ATT technician on Saturday.

Juan was a graying middle aged man, nice enough, make that very nice. Got everything hooked up in a jiffy. When he left he pointed me to a survey that I would soon be getting. He told me that it is very important to him that I answer in the affirmative. No problem, I say.

I got a survey call on the telephone yesterday. How happy are you with the work, one to ten? Very happy, ten. How likely are you to recommend Att to your friends and neighbors? I squirmed a little, phone service not being a high priority conversation amongst my cohorts, but what the hell, this was Juan, right? Ten. Did the technician talk about ATT and his cohorts in glowing, superlative terms? I really was starting to get pissed off now. He didn't but what if he had? Was I supposed to squeal? I gritted my teeth. Yes, he did. He talked about the company and his gratitude was so tangible I swear I saw a tear come to his eye. How likely are you to leave all of your earthly possessions to Juan and/or ATT if you were to prematurely expire?

I hate these online surveys, surveys of any kind. They are such a pointless waste of time but they manage to trap you. You either are happy with the service or you are not. And it's everybody, not just ATT, AmEx is in fact the worst offender. You can't make a call or payment of any kind without this time wasting  and stupid third degree. Do they have any idea how thick and dishonest they are, the position they put you in if you actually have dissatisfaction but don't want to cost some poor schmuck his job? Arrgh!