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Flat tire on Salvation Mountain

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Food and sustenance

I just got off the phone with Buzz, my 17 month younger brother in Toronto. "How am I doing?" I ask, the temperamental artist needing a continual dose of affirmation in order to keep the motor running. 'Frankly a bit boring of late," he says. "You haven't had one decent meal?"

Buzz was a lawyer for a long time, a lawyer who realized that he hated the business and would rather cook. He managed Mr. Greenjeans at the Eaton Center for years and then opened his own bistro off St. Claire, now unfortunately closed due to insufferable rent.

A frank type who never suffered fools gladly, he doled abuse out like soup, something you can do when you are serving a consistently excellent meal and people came from far and wide for the food and/or punishment.

I actually don't have a lot of culinary tales to regale you with. Since Fallbrook's Le Bistro closed and then reopened sans brunch, I know sunday mornings have been a bit lonely and adrift. Last week I snuck down to Jasmine for dim sum, by myself.

The week prior I made a horrible mistake and had an omelet at the pub. First I ordered coffee. "Would you like creamer and coffee, and stuff like that?" the epidermally adorned server asked. "Uh yeah, milk and sugar." I looked at her vacant reaction and said "Sure, creamer, whatever."

It came, eventually, without sugar, and I thought hey, fifty percent. Not bad. Only one problem, a spoon or something to stir it with besides the ballpoint pen in my pocket. Presto, my problem was solved within, maybe five minutes, a spoon!

The woeful Chargers were playing and my buddy James walked over from the coffee shop wearing his Colts jersey. He ordered as well.

I got my omelet first. Actually got a fork and knife too, after a minute. She asked if I would like butter for the toast and I assented, that is if it is not too much trouble.

Let me say that I know its pub food and supposed to suck but this was the most tasteless and uninspired omelet I have ever eaten. A ten dollar plus avocado, bacon and cheese. I hunted around like a scientist dissecting a frog and finally found something that might pass for bacon after the requisite genetic testing. No flavor whatsoever and still don't think there was any cheese. Like munching on a dry towel.

James said that he thought his bacon may have been precooked, it was so tasteless and lame. The potatoes were even worse. My last meal at the pub. I'm obviously too old and the food just sucked so bad. Wouldn't eat it drunk.

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Pala Mesa Resort is not the answer, maybe even a lamer plate. Pretty much a fare of starch and meat, no fruit, no vegetables. Embarrassing. Not sure if it is in or out of receivership this week but the food screamed I don't give a shit loud and clear.

Won't do Garden Center or Fallbrook Cafe, self exiled. Word is that Wayside is opening back up with a long loved, familiar face and I have my fingers crossed. Rosa's is all right if you are the mood for that sort of thing, Had some pretty decent menudo the last sunday I stopped by.

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Last night we went back to the Valley Fort after a long stretch away. I had the bone in ribeye, Leslie the caesar and salmon. It was a great steak and a really good meal. Greyhound and gimlet. Hank said it took him 8 months to get it all together. I was surprised how good it was. Ate in the bar. He says he is now doing sunday brunch at 10. Will have to check it out. What options do we have?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

better, buzz

Anonymous said...

Burger King? After all they offer a free sartorial "topper" with each selection.