Cuckoo's Nest

I've never been the kind of fellah that likes to gloat. Rubs people the wrong way. Conduct your victories like funerals, as Confucius used to say. Besides all politicians sort of suck and I can't get real excited about the current regime either.

I live in a pretty conservative town and the Romney signs are still up in the tonier neighborhoods, sad beacons of tattered dreams. I try not to rub it in, people have a way of staying pissed off.

It was sort of crazy when I went to the gym at lunch after the veterans day parade was over and I was finally able to leave my parking space. I had gone to the ceremony and a VFW member brusquely pushed me aside on the crowded sidewalk so that a ribbon clad warrior could march through and give his speech to the crowd. I didn't stick around, Jesus always makes an appearance at the invocation and frankly if you've seen one of these things, you have seen them all.

Anyway I get to the gym and I start to hear this chirping. All of these undercover democrats started coming out of the woodwork. My god, you too, I thought. There was a time thirty years ago when I was one of ten in the Fallbrook Democratic Club. Avis and Cliff Stokes, Carlton Poling, Spence Hays, a couple more. You publicly proclaimed your party fealty at your peril in those days.  I kid you not, we were thought of as communists in those days, come to think of it, they still do. Now they talk openly about their party allegiance, without the fear of bodily harm, or figuring that we would protect each other if things came to a scrum.

We lost a lot of very colorful wack jobs in this last election, and I for one am going to miss them. Akin, Allan West, Mourdock, Joe Walsh. Future stars like Mia Love, ingloriously shunted out of office. (If you ask me, West could frankly go postal, the man is just not stable.)

Tin hat wearing, climate change denying, ovary legislating, birth questioning, red baiting scamps, all of them now sadly gone and they will be sorely missed by this scribe. No conspiracy theory was too outlandish, no truth unbended, no vile epitaph too left field for this group and now they are gone, gone like the hot desert wind.

But not all of them. Thankfully there are still plenty of legislators several bricks short of a full load. I put together a photo montage of some of the people we still have a chance to love and get to know and the looney base is still well covered, don't you worry. From plain venal and malevolent, McConnell and Gohmert, to stupid and psycho, I give you Steve King and Bachmann, and every shade of nutso in between.

We get all of these fine american representatives for at least a couple more years, mayan disaster preventing. I give you my faves from upper left; Nikki Haley, Texas ex Judge Louie Gohmert, Issa, evolution denying Paul Broun, science denying Tom Coburn from OK, the exorcist, Bobbie Jindal, your favorite martian, Rick Scott, Michelle Bachmann, Jim DeMint , Steve King and Uncle Mitch McConnell.

See, there are still enough inmates running the asylum to ensure us a hoot of a time, that is until the red states secede or the good lord comes back for his flock. They are rarin' for a fight. When you got right and principles on your side, you don't have to compromise. Get the popcorn ready, this is gonna be good, friends.