Seal the eastern border.

News today that three new anti abortion bills passed the Arizona legislature today, one of which officially defines pregnancy as two weeks before conception. The bill, which criminalizes late term abortions, states that gestational age is "calculated from the first day of the last menstrual period of the pregnant woman," which would move the beginning of a pregnancy up two weeks prior to conception.

This is patently ludicrous, according to medical doctors as they can not pinpoint gestational age with this level of specificity. But assuredly an Arizona Superior Court judge can.

The other bills require that schools teach students that adoption and birth are the most acceptable outcomes for an unwanted pregnancy and another "wrongful birth, wrongful life" bill that prohibits lawsuits against doctors who do not provide honest information about a fetus' health if that information could lead to an abortion. In addition, parents cannot sue on the child's behalf after birth.

Jan Brewer, the Camel non filter pin up girl, has signaled her intent to sign the bills which will give our eastern neighbor the award for most draconian state for reproductive choice in the nation, much like their pariah status on minority issues.

Once again I must say that these conservatives who believe so much in the concept of limited government are baldfaced liars. They have no business either making moral choices for anybody else or interfering in the personal relationship between a woman and her doctor.

The Republicans need to start a new department of sex. It will henceforth only be allowed between adults of opposite gender, whose marriage has been sanctified in an appropriate church and per dictates of their respective community and strictly for the purpose of procreation. Morality police will routinely check non married women for evidence of their continued chastity and virtue. Anal or oral sex and any of that fancy karma sutra stuff is strictly forbidden and the use of the missionary position strongly encouraged. Excessive pleasure from the sacred coupling is frowned upon as is foreplay, multiple orgasms, lube, marital aids or the use of any form of pornography or other methods to increase sexual stimulation. Masturbation for males is a similar felony as those little swimmers have the potential for fertilizing some wayward egg, so that is murder too. Women will undergo mandatory clitorectomies so that they will not be tempted to gain any pleasure from lawful, consecrated sexual activities. Penalty for all infractions is of course, death.