Dining at the Dollar

We were sitting around outside the coffee shop the other day talking about the exorbitant price of food . Basic food stuffs. Bread, cereal, skittles. When a box of triscuits is nearly five bucks, we have a problem, mission control. Haagen Daz is close to five bucks a pint. I can't do it. Food prices have gotten absolutely nutty and who knows where the hell they will end up?

My wife buys the food in our home, it is part of our financial split. She shops for value and bargains and quality and has a very clear idea of what things cost and where to find them. And when I do buy groceries, I am near certain to hear about my errors.

We only buy organic beef. Bread at Major. Bananas at El Toro. We shop the mexican markets for certain things and the chains for certain things. Fresh and Easy has its place and you don't have to talk to anybody.

I eat like a king. And I admit that I personally spend too much money dining out. No children or grandchildren to support or put through college, no expensive drug habit, no girlfriend, no sports cars. Food, wine and an occasional guitar, although truth be told I haven't bought a new one in years.

We like to go out to eat and have eaten at some great restaurants around the world. The Tamarind in Nairobi, Le Cote Basque in New York, Deux Maggots in Paris, Terra in Napa. Now with the economy looking so bleak I have to think about tightening the belt and eating at home more often.

So I am sitting there whining about money at coffee and  a couple guys gave me the look. Because I may talk about poverty, in a somewhat academic sense, there are a lot of people living it every day. For realsy. And the conversation somehow drifted to food that you could buy at the Dollar Store for a buck. I had never thought of it but I definitely know people that depend on the place to eat and make ends meet.

Now you may not have a Dollar Store or 99 Cents Store where you live but chances are that you have something similar. I know a buyer for the latter, Tony C. and they are getting huge volume discounts on some items and products that manufacturers can't sell.

Lots of off off brands. Including food. Some interesting brands, Stars and Stripes soda, Schultz pretzels, you think there is a discernible difference from the brand name fare? Will the off brand pop tarts still explode?

So Fred started telling me the other day about some of the items that are safe to eat there. He mentioned the chicken thighs. Four to a pack and if cooked properly they are actually edible. You would think that chicken is either safe to sell or it is not. Maybe they sell the Dollar Store all the ugly ones? Somebody brought up the tater tots there, and who in the hell doesn't love them. And I had an idea...

Leslie is soon taking off for a week to visit an old college friend. What if I only eat food bought at the Dollar Store while she is out of town? Give myself a maximum allowance of five or six bucks a day. I will conduct a grand experiment in the interests of academia, literature and saving a buck. Write about my meals on the blog, the hits and misses. And if some of you would join me in my pursuit, in the interest of science, that would be really cool. But I will thrill you with the ease with which I shift into my newfound downward mobility.

***

I asked the shelf stocker at the Dollar Store if I could bring in my camera and he assented. I sketched out  my basic plan and he was quickly on board. He had two quick recommendations, the Texas Toast and the Stampede brand rib eye steak.

Now I have been dirt poor a couple times in my life, not play poor and I lived on corn meal mush, beenie weenie and minute steaks for a fairly long stretch. The rib eye here, which my friend Jean said you could see through, did not look all that bad. This was not your mother's minute steak. And the price is definitely right. So I will definitely pick some up for my experiment d'cuisine.

***

I hope that I don't get hurt. I can see the next byline now, Upchuck for a buck. If you are over there and something looks good to you, please let me know. Or if anyone wants to picnic... And pray that the economy doesn't get any worse, the dog food didn't look half bad either.