Toe Jam Football

Sexuality is a strange thing. Bizarre enough that every last one of us should probably be strapped to a therapist's couch somewhere. Men have an infatuation with breasts, butts, legs and vaginas. They hold a mystery on the equal of the great sphinx, yet the reality is they are standard operating equipment with approximately half the human species.

And it gets kinkier. Some people are into pain. Some are into latex. Stumps. Panties. Spanking. Domination. Submission. Big and Beautiful. Transvestism. Watersports. Same Sex. Groups. It is a big wacky weird world out there when it comes to sex, to be sure.

The one thing that I never got was the foot fetish thing. Boobs, I understand, after all dear old mom sported her own set and for most of us, it was our first shot of nourishment. Ditto the pudenda, reproductive organs are the go to areas of eroticism I suppose. Child bearing hips must trigger some deep genetic switch about the female's ability to successfully bear offspring. Legs, six pack abs, necks and eyes (my favorites) you got me? I am an art dealer after all, not an evolutionary biologist.

But the feet thing throws me a little bit. Every few years a foot fetish topic hits the news. Clinton political advisor Dick Morris was outed for his fondness for sniffing his girlfriend's footwear. His shame was so great he ended up having a breakdown and going to work for the other team, Republicans having a much greater tolerance for weird sexual peccadillos.

Don't get me wrong. I love feet. Where the hell would we be without them? They get us around and rarely complain. But on the sexual response meter toe sucking is just way down near the bottom of my list. "Baby, your bunions are the best, he purred..." What deep seated atavistic impulse is being tickled by smelling dirty feet?

I know that some women get lathered up buying Manolo's or Jimmy Choo's but I think that is a different matter entirely and not necessarily part of this discussion.

Which brings us to today's topic. The New York football Jets coach Rex Ryan evidently shares a passion for peds with his wife Michelle. Several of their private videos illustrating their fondness for feet have hit the netwaves.

Hey to each his own, whatever floats your boat. Just don't stare too long at my New Balance. It makes me uncomfortable. Got to run.