Mercury Retrograde

All of my electronic devices have been on strike for the last several weeks. For an über communicator like myself, it essentially means that I am totally stressed out. My friend Reneé said that Mercury was in retrograde, making communication difficult. I don't really follow the heavenly orbits myself but something is definitely out of whack. I have spent what feels like an eternity the last few weeks on the phone with Verizon, ATT Yahoo, SBC, Apple, Motorola, all to no avail.

Having received a notification that some personal information of mine might have been released to the arch evil gnosis hackers during the Gawker heist, I thought that I would do the prudent thing and change all my passwords. Letter/number combination, not an actual word, hopefully you know the drill. Well that is when things started cascading downhill.

My Mac desktop and laptop started having problems sending and receiving emails. They would not accept my password and kept going off line but occasionally working, when the sun was in the right house, I suppose. My Motorola Droid phone stopped delivering synched Gmail and email messages and that service got real spotty, also giving me username and password error messages. My credit card machine went on the fritz as well, no longer giving me a radio signal. None of the automatic door locks in the van work any longer either. The machines appear to have all gone awol.

I called SBC and they said that the system worked fine on their end and that it was a Mac problem. When I pointed out that the problems occurred simultaneously on computers located 10 miles apart, the level 2 tech  informed me that coincidences happened all the time in nature. I think that there is a structural and systemic problem at the server but what the hell do I know? Verizon could no longer synch my gmail and email and don't understand how I got it to work the last two years. Now everything is routed to gmail which is difficult for me since I much prefer MacMail. I went out and purchased Snow Leopard, just in case there is a macmail corruption issue and that won't install either , the program only recognizing Time Machine as a drive so another hour on the phone today to Toronto. The Credit Card company said that all the Mobilex towers have been torn down that ran my processing machine so looks like I am out another grand.

So here I sit a broken man, all systems were functioning perfectly and now I am caught in between a clash of the monolithic computer titans, not able to pierce the tech layers and reach somebody who actually knows what is going on. Big Dave assures me that he can fix everything but has also let me know that it will cost big bucks and I am running on fumes.

I will place all of my electronic devices in a large burning pyre and make proper obeisances to the cruel gods who are in charge of this sort of thing and then make a vow to remove myself from this cyber samsara and live the rest of my days as a luddite yogi, free from technology and all this mental agony. Because this is all total bullshit.