This isn't your grandmother's Republican Party. Come take a peek inside the big tent. We are you! We dress up like nazis, we're witches, we're gay bashing homophobes, just like you are. We have mistresses and children out of wedlock. We don't believe in evolution. But don't get us wrong, we aren't the mean old nazis, think lovable nazis like Sergeant Schultz from Hogan's Heroes. And we aren't ugly old witches with warty noses, we're more like Glinda the good witch or maybe Samantha Stevens. A little nose wiggle and shazam. And if you mess with us, something really bad might happen, we might just have to take you out. Capiche? We preach tolerance and diversity as long as you're white and straight. Come see what we have to offer. Unless you want to maybe wake up in an oven, with a tail or maybe a horse's head in your bed.
