After a little over a week in Florida, the land of Ponce de Leon and the fountain of youth, I think that I am a qualified expert on plastic surgery. No lie, even the store mannequins are sporting 38 double d's. I have been afraid to engage some of the matrons for fear of them trying to force a smile and having half of their face tear off. I am told that blinking is also ill advised. I have learned a whole new vocabulary regarding women and their vanities - did you know that a woman whose fat spills over the top of her much too tight jeans is called a muffin top?
There is a whole Caesar Romero/Heath Ledger look that's in down here right now but unfortunately it has a limited set of emotional tones available. It works good for really, really happy. The long black dyed hair slut look (tube top, large crucifix, fake tits, tattoos, tall boots, painted on glitzy pants) has it's adherents as well. I tend to clinically observe the whole dress thing like Margaret Mead doing field studies in Borneo but I saw one of the latter walking by and a fellow dealer Pat came up to me and in all seriousness said " that's how I want my girlfriends to look, like whores."
Anyway these death cheating dames tend to favor $10,000.00 dollar Gucci handbags and lots of gold and silver lame. It's a richer, more sophisticated crowd than your typical California bunch but perhaps a bit older demographically. I appreciate that I too will soon be grappling with the entropic effects of aging but I don't think you can ever fool mother nature and personally prefer the old fashioned style of aging to the current methods of reconstruction. But I am lucky - since I have a gorgeous unaltered wife who will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me.
4 comments:
very funny-not sure about your observation about sunny southern california versus florida...a guy I knew in LA once told me he drove a Mercedes instead of a BMW because a BMW was 'preppie' and a Mercedes said 'established, old money.' I had to laugh. Wasn't about spending over 80 grand on a car to go shopping in? HUH? I always think that Miami has a more Latin style than west coast, but money is money...I offended the hell out of a woman last year when I saw her with a 'Chanel' Grace Kelly bag. I believe they cost around 3500 dollars and in New York no one except Barbara Walters would consider owning one, because you can buy a perfect copy (or could at the time) on Canal Street for under 100 bucks. Anyway, I asked where on Canal Street she picked it up because it looked so good....whewww....will never get past the look she gave me and the fact that her husband never spoke to me again....MONEY..I hear that in Bangkok, the streets are filled with Westerners, mainly women, out shopping, wrapped like the Invisible man, recovering from the latest nip/tucks....as a guy, I kind of enjoy watching all these fake boobs bouncing around the Upper West side when the weather warms up...glad their hubbies all want trophy wives and will pay whatever the price....yeah, it starts to look like Barbieville, but what the hell.
It used to be sexy to see a woman, a young woman with small children, breasts still full, and natural looking, now replaced with god knows what, since some woman are now hiring surrogates to carry their children for them lest their thighs get chubby! You should be photographing the weirdos with money rather than ALOE plants!!
And make sure they buy some paintings that match their wives/girlfriends'/boyfriends etc. curves...wondering if, after my ship comes in I can get some male enhancement....an older Ken to a younger Barbie....sure, as soon as the meds wear off in five years, and I wake up from the sophomoronic (not a real word) dream I find myself in.
Can you not cultivate friendships with some compassionate people for your blog? Jeeezuz...what a bunch of white privileged elitists you all are....you are finally becoming aware of the plight of poor people because you are making less money at the moment? May we solve the economic situation without having to really suffer and at the same time, solve the real underlying problems of race, education and job training. Suddenly, it is inappropriate to write food reviews of cushy recipes? What's next? A comment akin to "Let Them Eat Cake?"
I think the low life food stamp people referred to in ANON's comment were probably eating truffle souffle a couple of years ago when you guys were flush, right? NO! Not really. Five years ago, two years ago, THIRTY years ago, the US was full of poor people. Still is. Will be when we are all long gone. Hopefully as a society, we will have learned to be a bit less mean sprited about the children of people who do our menial chores like laundry, lawn care and working in the very same kitchens of the very same eateries you were eating in six months ago. I am part of that same world and not criticizing you, but I think the general tone of your blog is white and elitist and very (sorry) Orange County-ish....home of the old school John Wayne style of conservatism....where are the Mexicans and Jews on your blog? Where are the Jamaicans and Haitians, the Dominicans and Chinese?
Off to shovel the sidewalks of Times Square now that we are all committed to community service, I am determined to ensure our humble merchants, Disney, Virgin, Gap, Sheraton etc can remain open through the upcoming snow storm....gotta help out corporate america since we now OWN corporate america! And they yelled, "DOWN WITH SOCIALISM!"
My friend works for RBS and told me it is reassuring to know that his boss is now ENGLAND instead of a board of egomaniacal 'directors.' heh...funny when you think about it.
Where are the jews on my blog? My blog isn't jewish enough? Oy! Comrade Stanley, how, pray tell, shall I increase my Dominican readership? I promised my poor grandmother that I would never give out the family cuban sandwich recipe.
Call me a pollyanna, thank you, but I think I will stick with aloe vera shots for now and leave the cutting edge social realism to you. I would feel a bit of the voyeur asking some woman if I could memorialize her fake rack.
I don't think my readership is all privileged white elitists, I know for a fact that there are a couple of privileged black and brown elitists that check in from time to time. I love all of my readership even the (cough, cough), rich ones. My regards to the revolution.
Here's a brown gal for you!(with real ones)
Love eternally,
Roxy
NYSTAN, I love reading your funny comments. They are tongue and cheek???? right????
If you are not joking then I enjoy your clumsy, outdated, angry, socialist, flower power views about the privileged elitist even more. You make such a morality play over a bunch of puns and obsevations about Miami Beach.
Must we feel bad for the hideous crime for being white??????
Yours truly ANON
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