John McCain post election "things to do" list

1. Establish a definitive count of the number of properties I actually own.

2. Finally take those Anger Management classes.

3. Hire surviving members of the Bonnano Family to whack Palin. Or maybe get that nutcase Sheriff Joe Arpaio for the job.

4. Get James Garner and Jodie Foster to help me with new "Maverick" reprise.

5. Call up Ollie and Singlaub and start an "oldtimers" paramilitary group. Invade Iran.

6. Stewed Prunes.

7. Spring Renzi.

8. Establish new Think Tank with Joe the Plumber.

9. Leave Cindy for David Petraeus.

© 2008 Robert Sommers