You know in the seven months that I have been writing this semi daily offering, I have managed to offend a lot of people. Seamy left wing politics, music (often performed by non-caucasians), religion - I have managed to gore a lot of sacred oxen. And I was thinking this morning, hmmm, who can I still offend? Yikes, I thinks to myself, I have completely pitter pattered around coitus, fellatio and all the other permutations of consenting human behavior. And this is wrong and you, the reader, deserve better.
Now I have repeatedly stated (ad nauseam and with a touch of smugness) that we have been television free throughout our 18 year life together. But a night in a hotel watching HBO has convinced me that like Rip Van Winkle awaking from a long nap, the world has definitely changed. I really don't know how a prudish soul like me would raise children in such an environment, seriously. I think that with the TV and the internet, a parent would have to assume that the youngsters will know more about sexual behavior, in all its innate forms and wickedness, than we adults do.
But as a casual but admitted viewer of pornography, ahem a few questions, please.
When did spitting become a sexual act? Ew, gross!
You hock one up on me and we are going to be having words, missy...
Has the new media been driving the boundaries of accepted sexual behavior in some sort of McLuhanesque rite of life following art? Media is the message and all that. I don't think anal sex has ever experienced such a renaissance short of maybe at the Continental Baths in New York.
Manlove, girl/girl, mommy love, puppy love, ladies erotic wrestling, latex, leather, teens, tits, its a sensual smorgasbord out there...
I understand that in my small nesty burg, at least a few years ago, the teen girl/girl thing was in full stride as was a big hankering for oral sex amongst the teen set. Now I know that there aint much new under the sun but I think that the social stigma for such behavior has been dramatically reduced.
Now I am not being judgmental and am not advocating some punition a la the scarlet letter- just trying to get a bead on things. (not an anal love bead either.)
A few years ago, I sat next to a narcotized porn star with a phuk you T-shirt on an airline flight while she and the guy in the window seat discussed the new sexual frontier, meesh meesh, cowboy, reverse cowboy with a full twist in pike position, shit I never heard of, being a married three or four position kind of guy. Its a whole new ballgame out there and I never made it to the party.
I took a little crap for my tattoo post. Couple sailors in the pub the other night said that it made the girls sexy. I said cheap and slutty...(note: some of the most wonderful, gorgeous, lovely women in my life sport ink. This is my own hang-up.)
Am I getting old?
I actually edited the c word out of the comments post last week, imposing censorship for the very first time. I know that my wife hates the word like no other and I reserve it for punctuation for only the most opportune times. But did my insertion of the little asterisk in c*nt diminish anything or lessen its vulgarity in any way? And I brought it on myself for writing fuck several times the week before. So I opened the barn door and now its no holds bar pottymouth blogging.
God bless George Carlin.
16 comments:
You know how teens are urged to be abstinent so they won't get pregnant? Well, they are having increasingly more active in anal sex. Still a virgin, technically.
Twat.
I agree, spitting is yucky, but hot chicks making out will never go out of style! I love it when sorority sisters get bored with late night pillow fights in thongs and tank-tops, and say "let's play the Kissing Game". This to me is what makes America great!
-vladsmythe
cunt fuck shit piss....time to move if you have friends who are offended by curse words.
My experience with kids nowadays is that they are emotionally a bit more mature, and of course, more informed and probably get most of this silly crap off their plates at an earlier age, resulting in a clearer idea of what to pursue in college at 50 grand a year. I do a lot of photography in middle school and high school and what I see is a lot of the same silly adolescent behavior that has plagued us from the beginning of time. The sooner these kids have it out of their bloodstream the better. I guarantee you there are no more or less sexual deviants today than there were fifty years ago...roadie-ing through Europe in my youth with an incredibly famous and legendary blues musician and the guys in the band were sitting in the back of the van at 9AM, eating cans of sardines, swilling Jack Daniels and howling over the ridiculous magazines they had picked up in Sweden...you name it---it was in there.
Did not turn me into a lover of sex with animals or having sex with five other guys all on top of one hapless, underweight drugged out floosey.....
I think you should get a television or move to Salt Lake City...what a silly statement.
Move to Idaho maybe and buy an assault rifle...I mean, if you want to be that far removed from the comedy of the times...as well as the great stuff on TV ad I mean that....there is some good stuff out there. Not a lot. But there is not a lot of great stuff in the Metropolitan Museum either...great is great..
and when it comes to tatoos, you should know better than to generalise....man alive-every once in a while I see a woman who is so fucking sexy because of great piece of skin, decorated in the most appropriate manner. And if I was a pumped up young guy with a great build, I would have a celtic motif wrapped around my biceps and be riding a Ducati Monster....and I would look hotter than all hell....sophomoric jokes aside from your yaboh pals, life is always the same. You get older and start to misunderstand the young....you know, hate the styles and the music and the language....but I remember how my Dad reacted to a listening of Frank Zappa-my Dad who was a superb working musician-man alive-I thought I was going to blow his mind with all this great shit...The Doors and the Stones, Mothers....he thought it didn't even sound like MUSIC! OUCH!!
But you know what? That is how we all feel about gangster rap....bitch bitch ho ho ho,,,,,,
See what comes around?
Did you know that YO is OY backwards?
Paul is DEAD.
The sky is falling.
There is no global warming,
(and if all these blow jobbed, tatooed and promiscuoused young cocks and cunts don't go out and vote, we will all have something of substance to discuss, like 'please pass the oxygen tank and the dumpster scraps.')
Stan Schnier
NYC
pre hurricane torrential downpour, sky dark gray and air thick as thieves.
Doctor Love? Could you tell me how long I should wait before my German Shepherd puppy returns my 'affection'? I don't want to spoil him too early.
Sorry, I didn't major in animal husbandry...
stan, how did I know that you were from New York? May your next Sabaret Hot Dog be your last. Go chill out on the Staten Island Ferry and come back here when your attitude improves.
This thread is getting nastier than Carmen Electra's panties after an all-nighter with Dennis Rodman! Can you say "Chunky New England Chowder"?
I wish I was in New York, god dammit. All those tall phallic buildings make me horny.
Periodic Christ-killing makeout force queen playboy give me self love bitch get on top.
Go censor THAT, c*nt!
'give me self-love'(??) Q*ite the c*ntrad*ction in t*rms. L*t's k*ep it R*al.
Thanks for all the phun......
Pervert Whore Mongers-all of you
Gee - Pervert Whore Mongers, that sounds almost biblical. Now I am sure that you never "spilled your seed on the ground"... Careful there pilgrim, you might get stoned to death. As they say in Brooklyn, check out the log in your own eye foist.
Hey Rob it sound like a little reverse cowboy on your prudish past. I guess when you get old you tend to forget about the past.
hey bob-
see? all you had to do was use sex....you are right in there with the big boys now...DRAMA, EMOTIONS, REACTIONS, AND.......................
COMMENTS.
Now you know why there are guys in the newspapers with names like Larry Flynt and John McPalin...yep,,,,,,sex definitely sells...man alive, what if Hillary was good lookin and sexy...well, that's how it works and that my friends, is the real deal on sex...not teenagers giving blow jobs....
sex and DYLAN!
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