Trampas © 2008 Robert Sommers
The conquering art dealer returns from the steppes and finds that his world has shifted and a major character has been shuffled out of the deck. My wife's father, Marv, has passed away after a lightning quick strike of acute leukemia. Barely a month top to bottom. My wife did a prodigious job of keeping it together in the midst of the greatest adversity, as did her brother and Mom. Moved my Mother in law into a new space in a matter of days and basically dealt. With everything. In a flicker the light gets turned off and we stand shaken and amazed.
Marv was a stand up guy who stood by my mother in law for over 50 years, the last 20 or so through her incredibly grueling bout with Multiple Sclerosis. He was in love with her until the day he died and I think was continuously seeking her approval. Sometimes he received it. They, like many of us, occasionally performed the dark dance but underneath it loved each other intensely and raised two amazingly decent and wonderful children.
Marv was a man's man and always viewed me with a touch of suspicion. I am an independent sort and didn't always do things the way he might have. We made our peace grudgingly and eventually learned to really enjoy and commiserate. He had a great genuine and hearty laugh and loved to be delighted by life. He liked cards and cognac, loved his friend Emil, his dogs and most of all his wife and children, who he was immensely and rightfully proud of. He made shopping an Olympic event. He was one of the greatest retailers ever and could read the activity in a mall like no one else's business.
The man liked a clean car. Paragon of personal grooming. Played the sax and trumpet in Detroit. World War II vet - M.P. Loved Stan Kenton. Owned a sailboat. Owned a winery in France for a sip.
Don't have a lot more to say. I got a chance to say good bye before I left and told him that he was a good father in law. Which he was. We would often banish ourselves to his office to escape the shrapnel and both felt a kinship that eclipsed our bristly exteriors.
Raise a toast to a good man, Marvin Gellman! A guy who knew how to enjoy life. L' Chaim!
If you feel the inclination, make a donation in his honor to the wonderful folks at San Diego Hospice.
3 comments:
I'm very sorry. My oldest friend just lost her husband to pancreatic cancer and it's so hard and surreal when they pass so quickly. Give Leslie a hug for me.
Carrie
My condolences on his passing. May He REST IN PEACE. I'm happy you have had an oppurtunity to share with him.
The loss of a loved one changes the family dynamic is so many ways. I know he will be missed by his family and others, including me.
(Get me a cognac...two fingers)
Esther
Post a Comment