I tossed and turned last night, thinking about my decision today, a decision that could change my life forever. I gently shook my wife's shoulder and her eye's quickly fluttered to life. In a low, measured voice, I told her my plans, my plans for coming out of the closet. " Please baby", she pleaded."Think of everything we have ever built up together, our life, your job, poof, down the drain." But I can and will not be dissuaded. I just can't live the lie any more.
I am an Abba fan.
There, I said it. I feel better. Why do those four kooky little swedes hold such a hypnotic hold on me? Now I won't play the stuff in public- It is more of a shameful act best engaged in behind one's door and out of the public eye. Geez, I've tried to stop but it's like that intoxicating candy jar in the kitchen, come on kid, just one more bite. My wife does not share in these indulgences, frankly she goes running out the door in a frantic when those bangled, bubbly little nordic songbirds coo their dulcet syrupy disco masterpieces. She has even thrown the CD case at the wall on occasions so I try to limit her exposure for my own emotional and physical well being.
I am not sure if there's a twelve step program for my malady and frankly the idea of swilling bad coffee at the baptist church, while holding hands with other Abba offenders is probably more juice than my wracked soul can take. I am more like a log cabin Abbaite, spouting the hard rock corporate line at functions and in public, while I live this sordid secret life.
I join many other public figures, who have braved humiliation by disclosing their love for the effervescent scandinavian quartet - Colin Powell, Elvis Costello, KISS, Kurt Cobain, Sid Vicious, John McCain, Pete Townshend and Meryl Streep. All came out like I have, risking ridicule, to proclaim their love and fealty.
But don't ask me to go see Mama Mia, I just don't have the balls to do that.
5 comments:
You love what? ABBA? Mama Mia Robert!!! This is a shocking fate worse than being a 300 lb. Pink Flamingo Las Vegas Transvestite. Please do another blog saying this is a hoax!!!!!!
Abba is nothing more than a bunch of neurotic Swedes than combined catchy high school cheers with polka beats and soft rock and sung them in English!!!!
Yes the tunes stay in your head like a waterboard brainwashing at Gitmo. Go back to porno Rob, it is much safer.
HEY-WHO, BUT ME AND ANOTHER 500,000 PEOPLE GOT TO EVER SEE THEM LIVE? I DID AT THE ALBERT HALL IN, I WOULD GUESS, THE EARLY 70'S WHEN I WAS DOING PRODUCTION WORK IN THE UK. I THINK ONE OF MY FRIENDS WAS DOING THE LIGHTS OR SOMETHING. THEY WERE TECHNICALLY GOOD AND EVERY SONG SOUNDED THE SAME. THE GIRLS WERE NOT ALL THAT SEXY-MORE LIKE BARBIE DOLLS OR VANNA WHITES WITH GO GO BOOTS. ONLY OTHER SHOW I EVER SAT THROUGH LIKE THIS WAS A LIONEL RITCHIE AT RADIO CITY IN 76...AHHHHHHH ARFFFFFF, PASS THE AIR SICK BAGS. TALK ABOUT A WORLD WITH FEW CHOICES, GIVE A WANNA BE GUITAR PLAYER THE WORLD AT HIS DOORSTEP, YOU KNOW, EVERY PIECE OF MUSIC EVER RECORDED, EVERY GUITAR HE WANTS, STUDY WITH GREAT TEACHERS AND HANG OUT WITH REALLY COOL PEOPLE LIKE US, AND HE ENDS UP CONFESSING TO ABBA MANIA. NEXT, HE WILL BE CONFESSING TO AGREEING WITH MC CAIN'S FOREIGN POLICY AKA LIEBERMAN'S FOREIGN POLICY.
STAN AKA ANON.
The Adventures of Priscella, Queen of the Desert--lots of ABBA, can watch at home. Gays, Tranvestites and Ping-pong ejections but was the hey I loved it.
CR
Yeah CR - Abba has definitely had an impact down under - loved Priscilla. You know how a kiwi finds his sheep in the tall grass?
very pleasurable.
I think this is beyond courageous. I c ame out years ago and have I small tastefull shrine to Mr. Borg myself, but it's still in the closet.
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